AITA for screaming at my dad about my toys?

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When Collecting Becomes a Family Feud

In a clash between personal passion and parental expectations, a young woman finds herself defending her cherished toy collection against her father’s dismissive attitude. After he insists that her beloved diecast cars and a special RC F1 gift from her girlfriend should be given away, tensions escalate when he takes matters into his own hands. This relatable story highlights the struggle many face in asserting their individuality and hobbies against traditional views of adulthood, sparking a thought-provoking discussion on the value of personal interests.

Family Drama Over Toy Collection: A Conflict Resolution Dilemma

A 21-year-old woman, who we’ll refer to as OP, finds herself in the midst of family drama surrounding her cherished toy collection. The situation escalates into a conflict with her father, leading to a heated confrontation. Here’s a breakdown of the events:

Background:
- OP is a 21-year-old female living at home while studying and working.
- She has a collection of 20 diecast car models and two Formula One models, which she enjoys displaying.
- Her girlfriend gifted her a large RC F1 Ferrari car for her birthday, which holds sentimental value.
Initial Conflict:
- During a home renovation, OP moved her collection into the living room.
- Her father jokingly suggested she give away the RC car to younger kids, which OP refused, explaining its significance.
- He insisted that it was inappropriate for an adult to have toy cars, leading to a disagreement.
Escalation:
- While reorganizing her room, OP’s father questioned her about the smaller cars on display.
- Despite OP’s explanation of her collection process, he continued to push for her to donate them.
- The argument intensified, resulting in OP feeling frustrated and unsupported.
Climactic Incident:
- Upon returning to her room, OP discovered that several of her cars were missing.
- She found her father on a video call, showing off her toys as a birthday gift to a cousin.
- After the call, OP confronted her father, reclaiming her cars and expressing her anger.
Aftermath:
- Her father accused her of being spoiled and selfish, which further fueled OP’s frustration.
- OP overheard her parents arguing about her actions, with her father criticizing her behavior.
- In a moment of anger, OP yelled back at her father, blaming him for the conflict.
- Her mother suggested that OP’s reaction was inappropriate, but OP felt justified in defending herself.

In this situation, OP is left questioning whether her reaction was warranted. The conflict highlights the tension between personal interests and family expectations, particularly regarding adulthood and hobbies. As OP navigates this family drama, the need for conflict resolution becomes apparent, especially in the context of her father’s dismissive attitude towards her passions.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story: throwaway account

I 21F have a toy collection. I work while I study, and that gives me the freedom to buy things outside of my necessities. However, I still live with them since it would be expensive for all of us if I moved out.

My “toys” were 20 diecast car models and two Formula One models. None of them are that rare to find, but I find pleasure in seeing them stack up on each other on display in my room. Last year, my girlfriend gifted me an RC F1 Ferrari car for my birthday because she knew I loved F1 and Ferrari itself.

The RC car was pretty big, and it had a smaller counterpart in my room too. During a small renovation in our home, I had to bring my things out and into the living room. My dad saw the RC F1 car and asked why I had it, suggesting that I should give it away to one of the younger kids since it would be a nice gift.

He sounded like he was joking, so I laughed and told him no, and that it was my girlfriend’s gift to me. But then he pushed it, saying that it wasn’t appropriate for a grown woman to have car toys. I told him it wasn’t his business, but if he wanted to, we could buy them a gift.

He left me alone after that. The second instance was when he saw me reorganizing my room. The smaller scale cars were on display on my desk, while the RC car was on top of my dresser.

My room is pretty small, so I make do with the space. He looked at the smaller cars and asked when I got them. I told him I’d been collecting since 2023, and that it wasn’t bought all at once since some of them were bought from FB Marketplace.

He huffed that the toys should be given to the younger kids, and I told him that I would not do that since it was my collection. I mentioned that I’m more than happy to buy for them, but not the ones I have. We went back and forth until he got annoyed and left.

This morning, I came back to my room to get some of my smaller cars taken from the desk I had displayed them on. There were six cars missing from my desk, and the smaller F1 model was missing too. I rushed back to the living room to see him opening the display boxes while he was video-calling a cousin with some of the cars.

He was bragging that it was his birthday gift to him. I waited for the call to end before snatching all the cars and marching back to my room. He snapped at me for being ‘spoiled’ and ‘selfish’ and that I was acting like a child.

I ignored him and double-checked if I got all the cars. After I did, I stayed in my room and tried to calm myself down. I heard him and my mother fighting over what I just did, with him telling her that she was raising an ungrateful bitch.

That’s when I ran back to the living room and screamed back at him. He has no right to yell and berate my mother for the attitude I inherited from him. He was stunned, and he left shortly after.

My mother told me that I should not have done that, but I only told her that I did it so he would stop shouting at everyone.

AITA for screaming at my dad because of my toys?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) is not at fault (NTA) for defending her collection of diecast car models against her father’s dismissive attitude. Many users highlight the underlying issues of sexism and ageism, noting that her father’s behavior stems from insecurity and traditional views on gender roles. The comments emphasize the importance of standing up for one’s interests and the right to enjoy hobbies regardless of societal expectations.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflict within families can be challenging, especially when it involves personal interests and differing perspectives. Here are some practical steps for OP and her father to consider in resolving their conflict:

For OP:

Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to understand your emotions regarding the situation. Acknowledge your frustration and the importance of your collection to you.
Choose the Right Time to Talk: Find a calm moment to approach your father. Avoid discussing the issue when emotions are running high.
Communicate Openly: Express how his comments and actions made you feel. Use “I” statements, such as “I felt hurt when you suggested giving away my RC car,” to avoid sounding accusatory.
Share the Significance: Explain the sentimental value of your collection, especially the RC car from your girlfriend. Help him understand why it matters to you.
Set Boundaries: Clearly state that your collection is important to you and that you would appreciate his respect for your interests, even if he doesn’t share them.

For OP’s Father:

Listen Actively: Make an effort to listen to OP’s perspective without interrupting. Acknowledge her feelings and the importance of her hobbies.
Reflect on Your Views: Consider why you feel that adult hobbies should conform to traditional norms. Challenge any biases you may have regarding age and gender roles.
Apologize if Necessary: If you recognize that your actions were dismissive or hurtful, a sincere apology can go a long way in mending the relationship.
Encourage Her Interests: Instead of pushing for her to give away her collection, show interest in her hobbies. Ask questions about her collection and what it means to her.
Find Common Ground: Look for shared interests or activities that you can enjoy together. This can help strengthen your relationship and foster mutual respect.

Moving Forward:

Conflict resolution requires effort from both sides. By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to understand each other, OP and her father can work towards a healthier relationship. Remember, it’s okay to have different interests, and respecting those differences is key to family harmony.