AITA My mother asked me to buy her friends son a day pass ticket with my student discount and I said no?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

AITA for Refusing to Help My Mom’s Friend’s Kid?

In a relatable tale of family dynamics and boundaries, a 20-year-old college student grapples with an unexpected request from her mother’s friend to buy a ski pass for a kid she doesn’t know. Despite her busy schedule and the complications of the situation, her refusal leads to a dramatic fallout with her mother, who insists she’s overreacting. This story resonates with anyone who’s ever felt pressured to accommodate family expectations, especially when it involves strangers and personal sacrifices. Can she stand her ground without losing her mother’s approval?

Family Drama Over Ski Pass Request

A 20-year-old female college student finds herself in a conflict with her mother over an unexpected request involving a ski pass. The situation highlights family dynamics and the challenges of conflict resolution.

Background: The student has a strained relationship with her mother, characterized by frequent requests for assistance that often feel unreasonable.
Unexpected Request: The student received a text from a stranger asking her to purchase a day pass for their son at a local ski resort. The child is a friend of her younger brother, but she has never met him or his family.
College Connection: The requestor’s daughter, who is a year younger than the student and attends the same college, could also obtain the same discount, raising questions about why the request was directed at her.
Work Commitment: The student has a work obligation on the same day as the ski trip, making it impossible for her to pick up the pass and meet the family.
Mother’s Involvement: The student reached out to her mother for clarification, only to be told that her mother did not share her number with the requester. This raises suspicions about how the stranger obtained her contact information.
Response to Request: After considering her situation, the student politely declined the request, explaining her work commitment and uncertainty about the process involved in obtaining the ski pass.
Mother’s Reaction: The mother reacted strongly, accusing the student of being dramatic and expressing disappointment over her refusal to help.
Aftermath: Following the incident, the mother has not spoken to the student, and the requester has also ignored her polite response. The student feels validated by the support she received online, realizing that it is acceptable to say no.

This situation illustrates the complexities of family drama and the importance of setting boundaries. The student is navigating her responsibilities while trying to maintain her independence, ultimately leading to a lesson in conflict resolution and self-advocacy.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

For context, I’m a 20-year-old female in college.

My mother has a bad habit of asking me for random things. We do not get along, and we never really have. Today, I got a text from a random message asking if I would buy a day pass for their son this Saturday at the local ski resort.

Keep in mind, I do not know these people. The kid is friends with my younger brother, 17 M, but I’ve never met him or his parents. His sister is a year younger than me and goes to the same college I do, and can get the same discount.

Not to mention, I have to work on Saturday, and I am not going to be late because I have to go pick up a pass at the ski hill and meet up then with these random people. So, I texted my mom about it. She claims she didn’t give the lady my number, but where else would she have gotten it?

Mom said I was being dramatic, but they literally request ID when you go to pick up the ticket, and I have to sign waivers and stuff in my name. The kid is 15; it would be a college student pass! So I politely text the lady back and tell her I have to work, I’m not sure how all that works, and that I’m sorry I can’t help.

My mom is acting like I committed one of the seven deadly sins. AITA?

EDIT/UPDATE: Thank you all for your support. My mom has not spoken to me since last night when all this occurred. Her friend also ignored my polite response.

I’m glad to hear that I’m not being overdramatic. I need to learn that it’s okay to say no.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster is NTA for refusing to allow someone to use their discount. Many users express confusion over the entitlement of the person asking for the discount and highlight the potential risks involved, such as liability if something were to go wrong. Additionally, there are comments reflecting on the dynamics of the relationship with the mother, suggesting that guilt-tripping is a common issue.

Users agree that the original poster is not obligated to help.
Concerns about the appropriateness of the request and potential consequences are prevalent.

Overall, the comments suggest that the original poster’s decision was justified and that they should not feel guilty for standing their ground.

Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict

Family conflicts can be challenging, especially when they involve differing expectations and boundaries. In this situation, both the college student and her mother have valid feelings and perspectives. Here are some practical steps to help resolve the conflict while addressing both sides:

For the College Student

Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to understand your emotions regarding the request and your mother’s reaction. Acknowledge your right to say no and the importance of setting boundaries.
Communicate Openly: Consider reaching out to your mother to express how her reaction made you feel. Use “I” statements, such as “I felt hurt when you called me dramatic,” to avoid sounding accusatory.
Clarify Your Position: Explain your reasons for declining the request in a calm manner. Emphasize your work commitment and the fact that you were uncomfortable with the request itself.
Seek Understanding: Ask your mother about her perspective. Understanding her feelings may help you both find common ground and improve your communication.
Set Future Boundaries: Discuss and establish clear boundaries regarding requests for help in the future. This can help prevent similar conflicts from arising.

For the Mother

Listen Actively: Make an effort to listen to your daughter’s feelings without interrupting. Acknowledge her perspective and validate her right to make her own choices.
Reflect on Your Expectations: Consider why you felt disappointed in your daughter’s response. Are your expectations reasonable? Understanding this can help you communicate more effectively.
Apologize if Necessary: If you recognize that your reaction may have been overly harsh, consider apologizing. A simple acknowledgment can go a long way in mending the relationship.
Encourage Independence: Support your daughter’s independence and decision-making. Recognize that she is navigating her own responsibilities and may not always be available to help.
Discuss Future Requests: If you anticipate needing help in the future, discuss how to approach such requests in a way that respects her boundaries and availability.

Conclusion

Conflict resolution requires empathy and understanding from both parties. By taking these steps, both the college student and her mother can work towards a healthier relationship built on mutual respect and open communication. Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries, and doing so can ultimately strengthen family ties.